Instead of admitting defeat, our plucky parents decided to try again. This time our visitor was a surly, mannish-looking Swede named Gertrude. When she wasn't in school, Gertrude stayed in her room most of the time, refusing to even attempt to assimilate herself into our culture. I told my sister that some family back in Norway was probably very glad to get rid of their morose and depressing daughter for a year.But, two strikes isn't an out, as our ever-optimistic dad likes to say, so our parents stepped up to the plate again and took another swing. Their timing couldn't have been worse. One thing we didn't need just then was more disruption in our family. The relationship between Elise and myself had been getting worse over the last few months, more than just normal sibling rivalry. It could have been described as dysfunctional at best, and close to homicidal at worst. Elise was seventeen, with cover-girl looks and the morals of a porn star. How she kept her active sex life hidden. Happy Mother's Day, Sis." Hey, Jeff, how're you doing? I'll bet you and Susie are all smiles. You've been gone a long time, but you're still fresh in my memory. You were a good husband and dad while you were with us. Give Susie a hug for me." I always like to leave the best for last, Martha. Just like our life together. We had a wonderful time when we were young and it just kept getting better. Even our last days together are special in my mind. Martha, I could never lie to you, so I'll tell you, I miss you so much. I also skipped church this morning to come see you early. I'm terribly lonely for you and think of you almost every waking moment. You were, and probably still are, the greatest mother ever. You raised Julie and Teddy to be two of the finest people I know. They are now good parents because of the way you taught them." Remember that time when I came home and you had both of them sitting on the floor in the corner of the kitchen? If you hadn't put your finger to your mouth.
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